Self-Portrait

On 31st of Dec 2008, while having a late breakfast at office, one of my colleagues asked me this question: "What is your new year resolution?". I thought for a moment and realized that I did not have one. The lack of an answer probed my brain for few days and it occured to me that I had not given enough attention to reflect on my life in the past year or was not in a position to give a serious thought to my future plans. I felt a bit disappointed at that conclusion and was willing to spend some time for a better result. Thus the exercise began.

The positives were easy to spot and project. They had been well publicized, either verbally or via pictures such as those in picasa or orkut. It is a bit misleading. Like those flashy life in the screen, be it cinema or television. Real life had its own bumps and troughs. It was not easy to focus on the negatives but this was my life and nobody else cared much than self, and rightfully so, to treat it fair and square.

Investigating deeper, I found that my search of perfection has actually strained and sometimes broken relationships. Perfectionism, I feel, could be a disease. It is not very easy to come out of a habit that is not in blood but mind. My efforts are failing and bringing me to the brink of breaking up. Still I want to give it a try. One last attempt!