Moments of Truth

That every day we face. And being honest about it!

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Location: Monroe Twp, New Jersey, United States

TeeBee for many, Manthru for some, Sunny for a few, Myna for selected, Suresh for record. Hailing from Thrissur of Kerala and now lives (read survives) in Monroe Twp, NJ with wife and daughter.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Comparisons Inc.

Its a weekend and as usual I am late to wake up. My daughter who has made a habit of waking up late on weekdays is already playing with her imaginary friends. She must have got up early and that is not unusual on weekends. And she gives an alarm which we used to give her on weekdays. "Daddy. Wake up, its morning". No wonder in the sayings that whatever you give, you always get them back. I miss her calling me "Achey". Probably she found it easier to follow English than Malayalam after coming to US last year. Its survival as I wish to call it.

Its 11am and the phone rings. The number is not familiar and it must be for my wife. Let her pick it up. My friends have stopped calling me long before. There are a few who still keep in touch and thank God for that. It must be my fault to keep as well as lose friends. My thoughts are interrupted by a conversation. Sindhu is in the kitchen and she must be doing parallel processing. What if I eavesdrop? At least I have to know that she is not looking for another man. Otherwise who will look after Minnu? Whatever reasons I wish to make here, there is an emotional attachment that makes me incomplete in her absence. I am afraid of that vacuum where there is no love. Where there is nobody to love me.

"Ha! This is Sindhu! Hm.... Who! Oh...Where are you calling from? I never thought that I will be able to talk to you after we left college? This is pleasant surprise!".

I can't hear who is on the other side. I just love to be on the bed a little more. I have a lot of work to do which I do not want to think about. That includes getting up, brushing teeth, going to toilet, taking a bath. And after that I have to get Minnu brush her teeth, wipe her clean, switch on the DVD player for her to see Dora (and that is the umpteenth time she is watching it) before I start bigger work such as cleaning the house and doing laundry. Thank god. By procrastination, I usually stretch it to 12pm on sunday nights. The conversation is continuing.

"No! We came last year only."
"Suresh got a transfer. Same company."
"Everybody is doing fine."
"Ya. Daughter"
"She is turning 4 this December."
"Going to pre-K."
"No. Its a nearby kids care center"
"Neighbourhood okay. Mostly black and spanish"
"We are thinking about it. Will have to move for a better school".
"Rent is too much. Parking is additional"
"In NY, we can't afford that. You people are lucky"
"Minnu is slowly learning. She is picking up"
"Oh. He learned in just one month? How old is he now?"
"I see. He brush himself?"
"Where? Europe tour? When? I have been telling Suresh. Don't know when".

Oh my god. This talk is becoming dangerous. I must do something. Okay. The phone is powered by internet. Its voice-over-IP.

When I switch of the fan, unknowingly the power to the cable modem is cut off and I slowly moves to the toilet. Let me think about some defense in this loneliness.

Outside, the conversation has ended and Minnu is getting a lesson to brush by herself. A business selling comparisons would be a great idea, I think. There is no shortage of it.

I must make sure that we live our own life.

5 Comments:

Blogger R.Nandakumar said...

a very interesting bit of stream of consciousness (?)!

3:26 AM  
Blogger Myna said...

When you are not able to figure out what is right and wrong, just writing it might help. Then what is "right" and "wrong"? Even there is disagreement.

7:02 AM  
Blogger Suresh Chowhan said...

Nice blog! Interesting topic you have posted. Keep it up.

4:59 AM  
Blogger Vidhi said...

I liked the flow
A very weekendish thought-stream

3:00 PM  
Blogger DiLin Anand said...

just discovered this blog, i think im going to read the whole of it today.. love the way you put your thought into words.

5:00 AM  

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